I remember someone very close to me once saying, ‘Jean, if God ever blesses you with a white wedding, then you have made it in life.’
Apparently, just wearing the ‘white gown’ is some sort of breakthrough for millions of black women across the world.
Just having a white wedding means they have broken curses and reversed some bad luck, never mind if they are actually happy or not.
When I used to go to a black Pentecostal church, I used to hear women give testimonies like, ‘In my family, no one had ever worn a white gown, I was the first one to break that generational curse…’
The biggest hypocrites of the ‘white wedding’ frenzy are black people, especially the Christian ones. I don’t know where they get the idea that white weddings are God’s high standard of getting married.
The ritual of white weddings originated in Britain during the Victorian era. Queen Victoria on her wedding day decided to wear a white lace dress for her marriage ceremony. Before that women just wore their favourite dress of any colour. Now some black women see the white wedding dress as some sort of family generational curse being broken.
But it was just one woman who decided to wear a white dress for her marriage, and she set the standard for all Christians around the world, even black Africans. Even if dowry is paid for the woman, she is not quite married until she has that big white wedding.
The black church and black pastors treat white weddings as if it is some sort of 11th bible commandment. However the reality is the traditional white wedding is a pagan ritual and it has absolutely nothing to do with the bible.
If anything the bible warns about wedding vows. Rather you should just say yes, or no. You should never make any vows if anything vows are made to be broken. When Rebekah was asked if she wanted to be Isaac’s wife, she simply answered ‘yes’ and that was it. There were no priests who officiated weddings in the Bible. There are no wedding rings in the bible either. Wedding rings are a Roman pagan tradition.
The father of the bride is the only officiator of marriage, not a priest. Sorry, don’t kill me, I am just stating what’s actually in the bible. It’s only when the daughter is given away by her father or guardian that she actually becomes a wife.
In my previous ‘marriage’, I got married at 19. When I told my mother that I wanted to get married, my Dad was very upset and deeply troubled by the whole idea. He thought I was too young.
He said I needed to finish my nurse training first. He said I needed to work first and enjoy my salary as a young free woman. But alas, I thought he was trying to block my ‘breakthrough’. He said the husband would control me as I was still very immature. But relatives talked him into agreeing to the marriage.
The traditional marriage ceremony went ahead, but my Dad had not really given me away. He was against it all.
My Dad never blessed the marriage, so according to the bible, there was no marriage. God never put me together with that man, even though dowry was paid and a ceremony was held. So many times he even wanted to return the dowry.
12 years later, I came to that place where I had to admit that my father had been right. Today I treasure his blessing to my marriage to Nino. He loves Nino and he always says to me that he’s so happy that finally I have a man who loves me and makes me happy.
True biblical marriage consists of a man and woman living together and building a family, with the consent of the woman’s father or guardian. That is what biblical marriage is. Sometimes a dowry was paid, but it wasn’t always necessary.
The white wedding trend or frenzy started by Queen Victoria is actually a pagan ritual that has nothing to do with biblical marriage. Marriages in the Bible did not involve any ceremonies at all.
The weddings in the Bible were just ‘celebrations’ of a man and woman coming together as man and wife. The wedding was just a house party with family and friends.
I think it’s rather hypocritical of Christians, that a trend started by one woman is now seen as God’s standard of marriage. If there is no priest or church wedding, then somehow the marriage or union is not blessed.
The obsession with white weddings is becoming an epidemic. Popular culture shoves the idea down our throats and is deemed the ultimate standard of ‘getting married’ especially in this era of social media. It’s now a competition between women.
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| White Wedding Hypocrisy: There Is No Such Thing In The Bible |
The ritual of white weddings originated in Britain during the Victorian era. Queen Victoria on her wedding day decided to wear a white lace dress for her marriage ceremony. Before that women just wore their favourite dress of any colour. Now some black women see the white wedding dress as some sort of family generational curse being broken.
But it was just one woman who decided to wear a white dress for her marriage, and she set the standard for all Christians around the world, even black Africans. Even if dowry is paid for the woman, she is not quite married until she has that big white wedding.
The black church and black pastors treat white weddings as if it is some sort of 11th bible commandment. However the reality is the traditional white wedding is a pagan ritual and it has absolutely nothing to do with the bible.
If anything the bible warns about wedding vows. Rather you should just say yes, or no. You should never make any vows if anything vows are made to be broken. When Rebekah was asked if she wanted to be Isaac’s wife, she simply answered ‘yes’ and that was it. There were no priests who officiated weddings in the Bible. There are no wedding rings in the bible either. Wedding rings are a Roman pagan tradition.
The father of the bride is the only officiator of marriage, not a priest. Sorry, don’t kill me, I am just stating what’s actually in the bible. It’s only when the daughter is given away by her father or guardian that she actually becomes a wife.
In my previous ‘marriage’, I got married at 19. When I told my mother that I wanted to get married, my Dad was very upset and deeply troubled by the whole idea. He thought I was too young.
He said I needed to finish my nurse training first. He said I needed to work first and enjoy my salary as a young free woman. But alas, I thought he was trying to block my ‘breakthrough’. He said the husband would control me as I was still very immature. But relatives talked him into agreeing to the marriage.
The traditional marriage ceremony went ahead, but my Dad had not really given me away. He was against it all.
My Dad never blessed the marriage, so according to the bible, there was no marriage. God never put me together with that man, even though dowry was paid and a ceremony was held. So many times he even wanted to return the dowry.
12 years later, I came to that place where I had to admit that my father had been right. Today I treasure his blessing to my marriage to Nino. He loves Nino and he always says to me that he’s so happy that finally I have a man who loves me and makes me happy.
True biblical marriage consists of a man and woman living together and building a family, with the consent of the woman’s father or guardian. That is what biblical marriage is. Sometimes a dowry was paid, but it wasn’t always necessary.
The white wedding trend or frenzy started by Queen Victoria is actually a pagan ritual that has nothing to do with biblical marriage. Marriages in the Bible did not involve any ceremonies at all.
The weddings in the Bible were just ‘celebrations’ of a man and woman coming together as man and wife. The wedding was just a house party with family and friends.
I think it’s rather hypocritical of Christians, that a trend started by one woman is now seen as God’s standard of marriage. If there is no priest or church wedding, then somehow the marriage or union is not blessed.
The obsession with white weddings is becoming an epidemic. Popular culture shoves the idea down our throats and is deemed the ultimate standard of ‘getting married’ especially in this era of social media. It’s now a competition between women.
It seems women want to prove that they have made it in life. They have found that Prince Charming and they will wear that beautiful white gown and walk down the aisle. There is no day which is more important in a woman’s life, it seems.
After the wedding, couples will struggle to pay off the wedding debt. Couples will go out of their way and means just to have that wedding that everyone will talk about. It’s every bride’s dream to have the wedding of the year.
Sometimes when women get caught up in the wedding frenzy, the husband himself is not even as important as the ‘white gown’. I am not anti- weddings. There is nothing wrong with celebrating marriage with a wedding party. I think it’s beautiful.
There is nothing wrong with having a Queen Victoria white wedding either, but it is pagan, not biblical. There is nothing wrong with wearing wedding rings either, but again it has nothing to do with the bible, its pagan. It will be honourable for Christians to at least honour the origins of these rituals they esteem highly and not be hypocrites by tributing ‘white weddings’ to the biblical God.
I see more and more wedding pictures being taken off Facebook some in less than two years after ‘big extravagant white weddings’. I think some couples even break up before they finish paying off the wedding debts.
At one point in my life, I was also obsessed with the grand white wedding ritual and believed that without wearing a white wedding gown, I had not quite made it in life. But my Boaz changed the way I saw love and marriage, especially in the sight of God, not man.
My beloved is mine and I am his, and no white wedding gown or ritual will ever come between us. What God has put together, let no pagan ritual separate.
After the wedding, couples will struggle to pay off the wedding debt. Couples will go out of their way and means just to have that wedding that everyone will talk about. It’s every bride’s dream to have the wedding of the year.
Sometimes when women get caught up in the wedding frenzy, the husband himself is not even as important as the ‘white gown’. I am not anti- weddings. There is nothing wrong with celebrating marriage with a wedding party. I think it’s beautiful.
There is nothing wrong with having a Queen Victoria white wedding either, but it is pagan, not biblical. There is nothing wrong with wearing wedding rings either, but again it has nothing to do with the bible, its pagan. It will be honourable for Christians to at least honour the origins of these rituals they esteem highly and not be hypocrites by tributing ‘white weddings’ to the biblical God.
I see more and more wedding pictures being taken off Facebook some in less than two years after ‘big extravagant white weddings’. I think some couples even break up before they finish paying off the wedding debts.
At one point in my life, I was also obsessed with the grand white wedding ritual and believed that without wearing a white wedding gown, I had not quite made it in life. But my Boaz changed the way I saw love and marriage, especially in the sight of God, not man.
My beloved is mine and I am his, and no white wedding gown or ritual will ever come between us. What God has put together, let no pagan ritual separate.
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